Jeepers Creepers

Why is it that I ALWAYS give the WRONG guys the WRONG idea?!

Seriously! Is being nice now the equivalent of being flirty?? I don't understand! I should just  stop being nice to guys. It's funny, my best friend and I were discussing this the other day, how the guys you want will usually never catch on that you like them, and the dudes you don't like think a friendly smile from you means you're totally into them. I swear, guys are just about as clueless as my thumb... not to mention complete drama queens and douchebags who may appear like macho men but are clearly as insecure as pubescent girls.

Lol, okay let me give you a little background as to why I'm ranting on this subject:
One of the male students who I'm living with hit on me last weekend. And when I say he hit on me, I mean he REALLY hit on me as in he came on too fast and too strong! The crazy part is that we've only known eachother for a week! I should have suspected from the beginning and trusted my creepdar (creeper radar, I think I made up a word!), all those creepy elevator glances, his constant invitations to go on walks with him, invitations into his room at late hours (yeah, I know), his attempted massage on my neck *shivers*.  By the way, this dude is not as young as you think, he looks about, I'd say ..early 40s.
*Barfing a little in mouth*
That day that he "proposed" (I quote his term) and confessed to me, I was in the kitchen eating. After that little occurence I literally lost my appetite. First he told me he liked me a lot, which prompted my initial thought: "Oh....no. This scene is going to turn very awkward very quickly."
Then he went on about how beautiful and magnificent I was and how he liked my features, that I would be his princess, etc. and was like "don't you want to enjoy your time here?" *retching* He thought I was being shy because I was no longer making eye contact with him, but obviously it was 'cause he was totally creeping me out. Then when I thought things couldn't get any worse...he kisses my hand. Yeah. As I tried to retaliate my hand, I made it clear to him that I'm NOT interested and that he was making me feel very uncomfortable. He's Morrocan so I don't know if that's how they do things there but it's certainly not how things go down here in Canada.
So finally after he laughed it off (probably stung from rejection and embarrassment) he was okay with being friends. Days go by and I don't see him (I was deliberately avoiding him) until the 4th day, when he came into the kitchen. Weird. He acted as if nothing happened. It was still awkward. It's kinda hard to forget a situation like that. So yes, that's my story. Now I can't wait for these 2 weeks to be over!

And this isn't the first time. I feel like I'm always leading on the weirdos or the dudes I see solely as brothers. Although, some people can't help being natural flirts even if they have no feelings for that person, but I wouldn't consider myself to be one. Perhaps the tangent between a friendly act and a flirty one has been blurred, or perhaps it's me, maybe I'm just really naïve.

What are your thoughts on this issue?

Everything Will Be Fine

It's really hard.

Sometimes I can't help it, I allow my mind to wander and there you show up, like an apparition.

I've been better, distracted with school and this whole new experience and that's when I'm okay.

But sometimes, just sometimes it creeps up behind me, like the way a leopard stalks it's prey, waiting to strike me when I'm at my weakest and most vulnerable.

I still feel the pang of something that's missing. An empty box, with a familiar lingering scent.

Every little detail replays. Different moments, a touch, a look, a smile, words, freshly imprinted.

I know these thoughts should be forbidden and yet here I am, helplessly caught up in a moment of guilty pleasure, sinking, indulging in these perilous thoughts. I hate those days.

A song. A simple song I hear, and my insides begin to cringe, my wavering heart shrinks and aches, because this simple song, reminds me of you.

But you are candy-covered poison.

So, it is better this way. We go our separate paths. No contact whatsoever.

Now, we can't pretend nothing happened between us either, that would be ridiculous and impossible.

Just breathe deeply, accept it and move on.

And as much as I miss you and as much as it still hurts, I know in my heart I made the best decision to let you go...for good.

Because in the end, we would have both ended up broken. Shattered glass.

I know I'll be okay. Just give me a little time.

And everything will be fine.

I'm not a huge fan of MIKA but I find the songs from his new album to be quite awesome, this one in particular.

Big Girls Don't Cry

I just realized I haven't updated you guys on my current living arrangement. As of last Saturday, I'm no longer staying with the family I was initially living with. There was an unexpected but totally understandable change of plans and thus leaving me no other choice but to move out. Fortunately, they didn't just leave me out in the dirt to fend for myself, in fact, they hooked me up a friend of theirs who rents out rooms to students. There are 3 other students staying here, all of which attend Laval University. The place is pretty legit. It has it's advantages:
1) The rent cost is really decent for all they offer/include.
2) It's a heck of a lot closer to the university compared to where I was previously staying (about a 15 minute walk! As opposed to an 1 hour bus ride). And I'm also really close to a grocery store.
3) I get my own room!
4) In terms of independence, it's a super opportunity for me to gain skills on self-reliance.
5) I don't have to worry about coming late and waking up/worrying anyone.
6) And of course more freedom!
So all in all, I'm really glad I'm on my own, it's a new, challenging and exciting experience. I haven't been scared or anxious about anything so far, 'cause what is that gonna do? It won't make things any less stressful right? I'm just leaving this all in God's hands. I know He'll take care of it and of me, just as He's been doing up 'till now. I see this all as an adventure! Haha I probably sound like a dork. Speaking of adventures, I want to share this video that I find to be ridiculously random, pointless and hilarious. Not to mention catchy!
Cheers!

Daredevil-ess

WOW. Okay, so I have a lot to share on what I've been up to whilst studying here in Québec city. Apart from touring the city, starting my classes (which are great so far), learning and picking up on a lot of french, meeting new people and cute french guy watching ;-) this past saturday, petite, shy lissa gained daredevil superpowers and fearlessly went out into the adventurous realm of white water rafting for the first time. And man was it ever epic. It was soo much fun! we went to this river called Jean Cartier (about 40 minutes away) where professional rafters who were also our guides, instructed us on everything: appropriate method of wearing gear, safety precautions, how to maneuver the raft, etc. I have to say it was quite the experience! Not only did we fight and ride a crazy strong current on an inflatable raft but also threw ourselves off a 30 foot cliff into the freezing cold water (that part was optional)! I have never felt such a rush in my life! I felt like Alice, just continuously falling, it felt like forever before my butt finally hit the water, which hurt by the way. If you ever get the chance to jump off a cliff into a river, I highly suggest you cross your legs and point your toes so that you fall pencil straight rather than on your butt/stomach/head 'cause that will really hurt and you may even need stitches (a girl was telling me that she knew someone who needed to get their butt stitched up due to improper falling position), but that's just a suggestion. So yeah, it was amazing, definately worth waking up at freakin' 4.15 am to meet at the school for 6.45 am. The scenery was just breathe-taking, sadly though for fear of getting my camera wet I decided against bringing it. I did however manage to capture much of Vieux-Québec! Here it is...

Happy Mother's Day!

Today is a day to celebrate all the mothers of the world! They truly are the most beautiful and precious gifts sent from above and we should never EVER take them for granted. But you know what? we shouldn't just be honouring them today, one day of the year, we should be treating them with love and respect all year round because they really deserve it. They've done so much for us, they've raised us, they've cared for us when we were sick, forced us to eat our veggies, put up with our tantrums, cleaned up after us (if you catch my drift), disciplined us, taught us many things, laughed with us, been there for us when our hearts were broken, lifted us up when we felt like the world was on our shoulders, gave us advice on life. And what's interesting is that they have like a sixth sense, mothers know everything! They know when we're lying to their faces. They are also always right, even when they're wrong lol. I may not have been too happy at the time but I'm now so glad and grateful for my mother's constant nagging and lectures because then I wouldn't be the person I am today. In the wise words of Abe:
 All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
- Abraham Lincoln
She's been through it all, she knows best and just wants me to avoid making the same mistakes she made in her youth. I used to think (actually, I still do) that she cares too much, but I'm so appreciative of her now because I 'd rather her care too much than not enough! Mothers will never stop loving us despite our faults and falls and rejection towards them. So here's to you mom, for all the years of putting up with me and my stubborness, for never giving up on me. There's no mother who compares to you, the best mother a daughter can have. You know what, I don't even have the words to describe how amazing you are and how much you mean to me. You are a true inspiration not only to me but to everyone around you. I just pray that God bless you and keep you always. In the future when I become a mother, I hope to be just like you. You are my best friend and the light of my heart mommy. Thank you. For everything. I love you so much.
Now for a mother's day video to make your day..

I Like Maple Syrup On My Crêpes

Je suis arrivé au Québec! Oh it's not my first time by the way, I was last here when I was around hmm...8 yrs. old? It is my first time on my own. It's awesome, kinda like a mini France, everyone speaks pure french, the signs are all in french, everything is in français, it's great but frustrating at the same time because I don't understand it all. I really wish I knew more but I guess this is why I came here lol. It's a cute little city, I already visited Vieux-Québec (that's Old Québec) and it is gorgeous!! I felt like I was walking down the little cobblestone streets of Europe with the historical buildings, little cafe's and nik nak shops. 
School begins next week, I can't wait, I'm looking forward to meeting new people. I'm really glad I came a week prior to the start of classes because this way I can familiarize myself with the bus route and all that. Laval University is like an hour bus ride but that's only 'cause they don't have a subway like Toronto, so the bus makes more turns and frequent stops.
I'm really lucky to be staying with the people I'm staying with, they are awesome.. not to mention superb cooks! I'm glad I made this decision, although it gets a little lonely at times, and my mind goes a little skitzo when people start speaking to me in french, I don't regret it one bit! That's what we should all do, challenge ourselves more, get out of our comfort zones, otherwise how will we ever find out what's on the other side of the hill? haha okay enough Confucius talk. 
Stay tuned kids for more exciting/crazy/awkward french adventures with petite lissa!