"Friends" Forever?

Sooo, this issue has been bugging me for a while now...
I'm constantly doing you favors, I've always been there when you needed me, picked you up when you were feeling down, let you borrow money, gave you my time, energy and attention...so why aren't you there when I need you the most?
Sound familiar?
Why is it that you always do what you can to serve others and whenever it's you who needs assistance or someone to lean on, no one's ever around?? I abhor that people have become so lazy, self-absorbed and preoccupied with their own little piteous day-to-day problems that they will often overlook the troubled facial expression or change in demeanor of a fellow compadre. They become oblivious to even the most obvious signs that their friends are facing grave problems. You'd think a real friend could discern right away when something's up with you!
Please do tell me, how greedy and selfish is it for me to simply ask you for the same thing you wanted from me, your help? Is "reciprocation" such a detestable concept or is it just unfamiliar to you? Can I call you a "real" friend at all? That's kind of the disadvantage of Facebook, the fact that you have so many "friends",  when really what percentage of those friendships are based on a genuine, personal relationship and not a superficial one? How many would catch a grenade for you? I thought so.
I was horribly sick last week and some friends knew, yet only 1 even bothered to ask how I was feeling, now maybe it's not that big of a deal, maybe I'm being dramatic but something inside me couldn't help feeling a little hurt and lonely. It's nice to know that someone is thinking of you. I thought to myself, well at least I know now who my real friends are.
So forgive me if I burst your comfortable little "me" bubble to ask for a hand, excuse me that you have to put in a little effort to call me up and see how I'm doing and if everything's okay. I'm sorry for needing a little support. Sue me for needing a true, caring friend during a difficult time in my life.
People will always be there when they know they can use you for their own benefit, be cautious of these people, they just use you up like gasoline and drain you out, returning not to fill you up again but only to drain you out some more, believe me I've had a few "friends" like that. It's called a one-sided, burdensome friendship. What about your friends, will they always be there to catch you when you fall or will they leave you hanging every time?

Childhood

Beautiful tender child

such soft, young skin, such bright earnest eyes

there she is, playing with her teddy bear

her smile shines like pearls, her laughter like the song of a cardinal

her hair like a crystalline flowing stream, her youth at its peak

such naïve thoughts, her innocence like white powdery snow

her touch sends a thousand monarchs fluttering

a young girl, her sweetness is honey, her face full of wonder and curiosity

her ceaseless bouncy energy is electric and contagious

oh how the world is cruel and chaotic, confusing and complex

yet there she stands, vulnerable, clueless, unequipped 

exposed to too much to soon, it becomes too late

hurt and pain does not discriminate, it bypasses no one

danger, lurks around the bend in a park, abuse hides under a dress 

suffering lays behind the sunrise, brokenness camouflaged against a doll

torture is quietly packaged in candy,  humiliation wrapped in lace 

yet there she stands, her tattered fragile wings ready to float away

astounding dreams awaken her and she eagerly presses on

then, once again a word stings her, an action burns her, loneliness drowns her 

bitterness surrounds her, insecurity jostles her, emptiness overwhelms her

failure mocks her, rejection plagues her, fear pins her to the ground

deadly vicious cycles corrupt her tiny beating heart, despair scarres her soul

she sheds her vivid coats of colour until there is only darkness as her life shatters in pieces at her feet 

she falls but no one catches her, she screams yet no one hears

oh my dear sweet child, if only I could protect you

if only I could take you away from it all

if only I can restore and preserve that childhood 

this is for all the little girls, enjoy your childhood and be careful

let no man destroy you, let no storm strip you of your dignity 

let nothing come between you and your fairy tales 

be strong and courageous

you are a valuable and precious gem.

Winter Wonderland!

Sure winter is pretty, when you're watching snow fall from inside the warmth of your home and not waiting for a freakin' bus in -20 degree weather! I guess winter may have it's ups and downs but usually winter's bitter cold tends to drag people down a little, so one thing I usually do to make it more bearable is look for winter fashion trends. I can't speak for everyone else but it certainly makes me happy. It's really weird considering I never used to be this fashion conscious. Look what art school has done to me *shakes my head*. Anyway, shifting my focus on winter outfits and accessories takes my mind off the suckiness of winter, in fact, it cheers me up and now I look forward to going out. Here are my top 5...

Long Winter Coat

Not only is it long enough to warm your thighs, the slim-fitting shape and belt accentuates the curves, complimenting the figure.

Canada Olympics Winter Tuque

Haha, I really like this tuque, I've wanted one since last year's Vancouver Olympics.

Black Combat Boots

I absolutely love these boots, especially if they have a zipper on the inner sides. I don't even know why but I like that they kinda look like pirate boots.

Loop Scarf 

Also known as "infinity scarf" and "snood" (wth? now that just sounds hideous) but I suppose the latter gets its name from scarf and hoody, because it could be used as both a scarf and head cover.

Sweater Vest and Cardigan

 The more vintage looking, the better. I love how warm it keeps me. Here's an item that's both stylish and functional, what more could you ask for?

Sway

I don’t wanna hurt you
I don’t wanna make you sway
Like I know I’ve done before
I will not do it anymore
I’ve always been a dreamer
I've had my head among
the clouds
Now that I’m coming down
Won’t you be my solid ground?

I look at you and see a friend
I hope that’s what you wanna be
Are we back now where
it all began?
Have you finally forgiven me?

Bring on the Christmas Spirit!

Being done with school is a delightful feeling! Perhaps that's why I wasn't feeling the Christmas spirit in the last couple of weeks before my break, the stress of school finals can really drain you of any feeling really. Fortunately, at last I can enjoy the fluffy snow, and lights, and cookies, and songs, and cheer! 

As of now, I'm excited about one thing in particular.. next week, I'm going to a concert. I'm going to watch the Trans-Siberian Orchestra! For those who don't know of them, they're basically a rock orchestra who bring classical music and mesh it with hard rock. They've done renditions of Beethoven's compositions and Christmas classics. I love them, they are crazy brilliant so I'm not surprised that people are saying their live shows are a-mazing! I've seen Youtube videos of their concerts and they are all about the experience... symphonic sound, lights and spectacle. 

Check out this awesome video of a house that has its Christmas lights synchronized to one of their songs...

Merry Christmas and Happy holidays!

Raised By Barbarians??

I was on the subway a couple of weeks ago, and as I was hurrying past people at rush hour, there was an elderly lady walking up the northbound steps. I saw this small, fragile elderly lady grab the railing for support and slowly make her way up the steps. For a second I considered helping her, but I was a bit far from her and thought to myself, maybe someone nearer will show some kindness. To my disappointment, I watched in aching sadness as people just brushed past her. It's like they didn't even acknowledge her presence. By the time I knew I should have gone back to provide a helping hand, it was already too late. Regret. I felt a pang of guilt afterwards that not only lasted that day, but days later. This subtle aching feeling of guilt in my gut would not leave. I realize these seemingly unnoticed things happen all the time but I don't know what it was about that particular moment that made me feel like such an awful human being. Will it kill you to take a minute of your busy lives to help someone who clearly is in need of it? Whatever happened to old-fashioned gentlemanliness? What will it take to see some kindness from strangers around here? Well, what else should I expect from cold, discourteous and inconsiderate Torontonians.
On the bright side, for every missed opportunity, there's another one waiting to be taken advantage of. Yesterday, an older lady was struggling with her trolley to get off the street car, there was a man beside me, he didn't move, so without a moment of hesitation I walked right up to her, gently grabbed her by the arm and helped her down. She thanked me and blessed me with genuine gratitude in her eyes. That was enough for me. Hey cyborgs, you should try it, hold a door, offer your seat, do something nice for someone for a change.
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. - Aesop

- Your friendly neighbourhood spiderman

The Last Dream Of A Hero

So my sister wrote this poem a while ago for remembrance day, and i thought it was really good and just had to share it...


I had a dream
I saw colours- no, shades
They circled me with songs
A melody of suffering, bravery and desperation
I looked around but saw nothing
My eyes were blocked
Desperate to find an image
I rubbed them vigorously
Suddenly, a small glow appeared
In the center, I saw my daughter
She was running
Her hair flowing 
My wife was behind her
They ran in a colourful field
Flowers bloomed and brightened their smiles
They looked so beautiful
Their laughs were like a soft melody
Lulling me to sleep
Just then, there was a bloodcurdling cry 
It brought everything back to grey
A loud explosion 
Blackness.

A Simple Flower.

A Powerful Meaning.

-J.S