Welcome To The Jungle!

Should I travel? Should I continue my studies? Should I look for a job? 

Ever been at that point in life where you're just about finishing up school and are about to enter the "real world" where you're like holy crap, I'm about to enter the real world, the beginning of the rest of my life and I don't even know what the heck I'm doing? Perhaps? Perhaps not? Well that's where I would place myself right about now.

It's not that I have no idea what I'm going to do, I do know what I want to do, but it's more like, okay, how do I get from point A to point B? There's also the question of do I want to look for a job right away or do I want to do some traveling first? As far as careers go, I've been doing my research and checking job hunting sites but I will admit that I have been kinda lazy as well. I know, it's bad. Maybe I should have made more connections. Maybe I should have asked more questions to be properly informed.
Maybe I should have, what if I had, if only if only if only... too late for regrets =)

Art therapy along with music and drama therapy haven't been very legit or even existing professions up until recently, well at least here in Canada. That could explain why I'm not having any luck finding available positions in the job search engine results. I did however interestingly enough find plenty in the States. I mean, there must be positions here at hospitals, clinics, schools, etc. maybe they're just all taken, or on the down low. I probably need to search harder. Sigh. It's weird being an adult and having a whole new set of responsibilities take a dump in your lap. Responsibilities which your parents can no longer play a part in because at this point they can't decide your life for you.

I heard this would be a difficult time in my life, where I'm smack-dab in the middle of a transition and beginning to make something of myself. I was warned. Change is scary 'cause I don't know what happens next. People fear the unknown, naturally. In fact, we like to play all-knowing gods who are in total control. Ha ha, who are we mere mortals kidding.

On a brighter note, I also heard it would be an exciting time in my life where I would encounter new opportunities, new people and new experiences. I just need to trust that God will be with me and help me get through every stage. I just need to maintain an optimist's perspective.Whatever happens, happens. Bring it on real world!
But first and foremost I need to get my lazy butt off the couch and continue my job search!

Books Galore!

Top 3 fav. books..

1. House of the Scorpion

2. The Host

3. Blindness

 Top 5 books on my reading list..

1. Lullabies for Little Criminals by Heather O'Neill
2. The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson
3. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
4. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
5. You Know Where to Find Me by Rachel Cohn

Thrush

Isn't it funny how you can know somebody inside and out, and then suddenly, they just become an image...

Thrush from Gabriel Bisset-Smith on Vimeo.

An entire relationship told through photos in four minutes.

Directed by Gabriel Bisset-Smith and Graham Turner.
Written by Gabriel Bisset-Smith
Music by Golden Silvers

Top 10 Concerts

Originally I wanted to list my top 5 but honestly there are just too many dang good bands and artists out there. So these are my top 10 concerts worth punching an alien in the face for a ticket over =)

1. Muse

2. Interpol

3. OneRepublic

4. Metric

5. The Strokes

6. Lights

7. Kings of Leon

8. Franz Ferdinand

9. Tokyo Police Club

10. David Crowder Band

What's Stopping You?

Excuse the F-bomb in this..

The only person standing in your way is you.

"Friends" Forever?

Sooo, this issue has been bugging me for a while now...
I'm constantly doing you favors, I've always been there when you needed me, picked you up when you were feeling down, let you borrow money, gave you my time, energy and attention...so why aren't you there when I need you the most?
Sound familiar?
Why is it that you always do what you can to serve others and whenever it's you who needs assistance or someone to lean on, no one's ever around?? I abhor that people have become so lazy, self-absorbed and preoccupied with their own little piteous day-to-day problems that they will often overlook the troubled facial expression or change in demeanor of a fellow compadre. They become oblivious to even the most obvious signs that their friends are facing grave problems. You'd think a real friend could discern right away when something's up with you!
Please do tell me, how greedy and selfish is it for me to simply ask you for the same thing you wanted from me, your help? Is "reciprocation" such a detestable concept or is it just unfamiliar to you? Can I call you a "real" friend at all? That's kind of the disadvantage of Facebook, the fact that you have so many "friends",  when really what percentage of those friendships are based on a genuine, personal relationship and not a superficial one? How many would catch a grenade for you? I thought so.
I was horribly sick last week and some friends knew, yet only 1 even bothered to ask how I was feeling, now maybe it's not that big of a deal, maybe I'm being dramatic but something inside me couldn't help feeling a little hurt and lonely. It's nice to know that someone is thinking of you. I thought to myself, well at least I know now who my real friends are.
So forgive me if I burst your comfortable little "me" bubble to ask for a hand, excuse me that you have to put in a little effort to call me up and see how I'm doing and if everything's okay. I'm sorry for needing a little support. Sue me for needing a true, caring friend during a difficult time in my life.
People will always be there when they know they can use you for their own benefit, be cautious of these people, they just use you up like gasoline and drain you out, returning not to fill you up again but only to drain you out some more, believe me I've had a few "friends" like that. It's called a one-sided, burdensome friendship. What about your friends, will they always be there to catch you when you fall or will they leave you hanging every time?

Childhood

Beautiful tender child

such soft, young skin, such bright earnest eyes

there she is, playing with her teddy bear

her smile shines like pearls, her laughter like the song of a cardinal

her hair like a crystalline flowing stream, her youth at its peak

such naïve thoughts, her innocence like white powdery snow

her touch sends a thousand monarchs fluttering

a young girl, her sweetness is honey, her face full of wonder and curiosity

her ceaseless bouncy energy is electric and contagious

oh how the world is cruel and chaotic, confusing and complex

yet there she stands, vulnerable, clueless, unequipped 

exposed to too much to soon, it becomes too late

hurt and pain does not discriminate, it bypasses no one

danger, lurks around the bend in a park, abuse hides under a dress 

suffering lays behind the sunrise, brokenness camouflaged against a doll

torture is quietly packaged in candy,  humiliation wrapped in lace 

yet there she stands, her tattered fragile wings ready to float away

astounding dreams awaken her and she eagerly presses on

then, once again a word stings her, an action burns her, loneliness drowns her 

bitterness surrounds her, insecurity jostles her, emptiness overwhelms her

failure mocks her, rejection plagues her, fear pins her to the ground

deadly vicious cycles corrupt her tiny beating heart, despair scarres her soul

she sheds her vivid coats of colour until there is only darkness as her life shatters in pieces at her feet 

she falls but no one catches her, she screams yet no one hears

oh my dear sweet child, if only I could protect you

if only I could take you away from it all

if only I can restore and preserve that childhood 

this is for all the little girls, enjoy your childhood and be careful

let no man destroy you, let no storm strip you of your dignity 

let nothing come between you and your fairy tales 

be strong and courageous

you are a valuable and precious gem.